Neomasculinity and Divorce

When you begin reading more information during your divorce, you will find a lot of competing viewpoints on how men should live and behave these days. With so many opinions and influences on mens issues its tough to sort through the noise. Traditional sources like religion is clashing with modern liberal dogma. Some suggest dressing and acting like a clown to get female attention. Other movements are as far fetched as men giving up on women and relationships entirely. If you remember, the story “Into the Wild” didn’t end so well either.

There are several principles in Neomasculinity that align almost identically to what I have laid out in the Field Guide.  Self Improvement, Understanding the Nature of Women, Nuclear Family, Individual Responsibility, Self-Reliance and Entrepreneurship are all areas that relate to the divorcing man.  (I intended to write about several, but Game by far took the majority of this post.  I will touch on others in future posts).  I will start off with what I think is one of the most importance concepts to help you immediately to recover from your divorce, and to begin to start enjoying life;

GAME

Learning game is essential to your development after your divorce. Easily talking to women, getting to know them, spending a little time with them and having sex with them is one of the most base level fundamental human activities. In today’s society, most western adult men significantly struggle with this.   If you are unable to perform this most basic biological human task, something is seriously wrong with how you relate to the world, and you probably know that.  You may have been corrupted by a modern society that has trained you to believe you are wrong for doing this.  If you are reading this, and this describes you, you are clearly not the only man this has affected. So something else may be at play in society.

Through publicly shaming men, pornography, prescription drug abuse, media, school/college curriculum, liberal modern religions, courts and other influencers like peer pressure and family, you have probably been indoctrinated to not directly pursue women.  From what I have seen most men today pursue what look like non-sexual friendships with woman, similar to what women have with other female friends.  Men mask their interest by acting feminine by not being direct with their intentions, to appear to be politically correct and non-threatening. This comes off as incredibly weak to women, and the women in turn, treat the men like garbage.

There is a lot of game advice. I recommend you sample all of it. Look at whats out there. Buy some of the products and books, attend a course, go all in but don’t blow a lot of money. Spend a few hundred bucks and buy a sampling of books.

I describe in my book how men should not get into relationships during and after their divorce. In short they should learn how to game and date a lot of women, for years. They should reject the immediate feminine need to have another woman rush back into their lives and play mommy. They should consider their children who will be utterly confused by introducing strange new women into their lives.  And most of all, not dating or getting into any relationship with a single mother who would zap his precious resources and time and attention away from his actual kids. I also explain that first learning game, becoming good with woman, and then living a lifestyle that is very similar to the one described in Neomasculinity, a man can fully re-develop into a self-reliant man and happier man after his divorce.

If you are new to this, you have to find what you like. You have groups of men that believe in clown game (i.e. literally acting like a jerkboy clown in public), to more thoughtful lifestyle game, which promotes living a quality lifestyle first, and results in becoming more appealing to women. Focusing on your health, appearances, finances, attitude, self-control, social skills, etc, which builds the foundation to attract the most desirable women into your life. This is closer to Neomasculinity, and why I like it.

There are even men’s groups like MGTOW(men going there own way), who have completely written off any relations with women.  Entering divorce you will see groups like this on the web, and they will be tempting to consider after what you have been through.  But is that what you really want? To go off the reservation? Men that have the most severe inability to relate with and engage with wome are often the worst off in our society(think Elliot Rodgers). When you see these men who go on rampages, there are almost always men who had zero game and almost no ability to relate to or engage with the opposite sex.  Becoming a ball-less eunuch is not your natural state.  Game can fix that.

I love my alone time, but I am not a loner, and I like the company of beautiful women in my life.  Instead of blaming women for your problems with them, ask yourself what it is you are doing wrong? Could you act differently? Dress, talk and speak differently?  By changing your attitude and improving on simple communication issues, you can solve most of your issues and not worry about women anymore.  And by understanding women better, you can see where you went wrong in your marriage, and carry yourself better in future relationships with women. And I am not talking about therapy with a feminist psychiatrist; game is about fully expressing your masculinity into the world. It’s not cowering behind prescription drugs or booze and blaming yourself.

Coming out of this fog, and even realizing you are in this fog, is what men refer to as “taking the red pill.”  Giving men this little bit of this control in their lives can drastically influence their behavior in other ways, and instill a deep, primal base level of confidence that is unable to be found in other pursuits.

If you are not able to first spot a woman you find a attractive, start a conversation, charm her in the slightest bit and get her phone number, go on a date and have sex with her, you need game, badly.  Especially coming out of a brutal divorce, nothing else can create confidence like easier and more fruitful interactions with women.  Learning how to game (which is basically just learning how to be social with women by showing your intent) can be the biggest step forward in your recovery from divorce.