About a week before Thanksgiving I freaked out. I realized it was just me and her. And usually, among traveling back and forth to school, classes, birthday parties and the like, true downtime at home was something I have grown to feel uneasy about. Especially holidays.
Here’s why; I have always followed the American ideal family imperative. You get together with your family, in a big house with a big table, lots of chairs, couches, place settings, the Detroit Lions and sweater vests.
Well, my families small. I live 2000 miles away from where I grew up. My parents are too old to travel. I all but gave up on a social life during my marriage, that I am working to rebuild. That American holiday ideal is not my reality.
So when I came up for air from working like a mad man, I realized I actually had to slow down and stop. Stop working, stop running to this and that, actually stay put, cook and connect. Slowing down and taking a break is hard for me. I like to work, and I like to move.
I wanted to just go to a restaurant. Thats easy, right? But it would be a nice restaurant, so it wouldn’t be lame, it wouldn’t be a scene of defeat, I would actually pay my way out of giving up on creating a thanksgiving memory. I also wanted to find other single dads in my position, but they all had plans.
A particularly sharp lady I have been seeing immediately busted my balls. She called me lame and told me my child deserved better. I sulked, and thought she was annoying. She was right. As a single dad I have have improvised and been able to pull off birthdays, Christmas’s and big life milestones. The thought of all that cooking though threw me for a loop.
The ideal I have in my mind, is not the life I lead now. Having thanksgiving at home for two is not what I wanted to do. But this girl was right. I may help other men with their divorces, talk about being self sufficient, not relying on anyone and an being an island among himself. I am learning as I go, and in this case, I decided to make it a go.
I bought all of the sides pre-cooked, still lame, but hey, they were good! Stuffing, mashed potatoes, veggies, pumpkin pie, all.. top notch. I went and got a 10lb turkey, read the directions on the label, seasoned the turkey with the help of another friend who stopped by and hung out the night before.
And with a few more friends stopping over in the morning, watching the parade, we set out to cook. I cooked a turkey for the first time by myself. I made a whole turkey dinner by myself. We set the table, my daughter made the center piece at school and put it in the middle of the table, and we set out to feast together as a family, her and I, together in the most intimate setting.
It was a success. And I can do it anytime. I don’t get to sit around and watch football, but I can make the potatoes exactly the way I like them. We have friends here if we want to include them, we can cook a giant meal together, we can spend the rest of the day passed out watching television, together, and most of all thankful that our family now is our family ideal.
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